November 17, 2008

Hide behind it, Run away from it, Avoid it.


I'm broken and there is no fixing that, I'm not the same nor will I ever be.

"I'm fine" .. now give them a warm smile to convince them and they'll fall for it again.
I am not perfect I know this, I am NOT like everyone else and I know this. I don't always do the right thing, I KNOW THIS.

I speak my mind when everyone is sleeping and I know that no one is watching, this is how I am, & I know this, you know this, &I'm tired of apologizing for it. I'm done apologizing because that's how I am, and if being me is wrong then maybe I'm not the one to blame. I used to wish that I was a little more like everyone else but now I see there's nothing wrong with being me even if its being the mute.
I try to let it not get to me, but sometimes there is only so much I can keep inside before just shut down and now that I have I'm letting it out and it only a matter of time before the cycle will repeat itself, I know this.

This doesn't make any sense, maybe it's not supposed to.

I don't know I guess I'm just feeling a little extra emotional today.


November 12, 2008

So darling, darlinggg..

Today I realized so much. It's like everything that's happened over the past year happened and I guess I was oblivious to all of it & this morning on the bus ride to work it all just smacked me in the face. First off, I am a high school graduate/college student, how did that happen so fast? I can still remember the days being in grammer school thinking that it was so bad and how I just wanted to get out and now all I say is how I wish I was back there. It's funny how time flies and how you change without even realizing it. You waste your time wishing that you can go to the future and see what it holds for you and when your there you look back and see how great it was and that the future wasn't as great as you expected it to be, that you were fine before. It's like I've said before, you have to live in the moment cause when things are unexpected its raw you don't have any expections& thats when you live your life best. No let downs, no disappointments , just greatness.

Today I had a meeting and the DM showed us this video and man I think the best part is when the guy making the documentary talks at the beginning, however I couldn't find that version. So basically the director has mad several short documentaries like this one and he said that one day he was walking down the street and he heard this man singing and he has never heard a voice like that and he said the best kind of music is not the one that so popular but the one with heart and thats raw with emotion and I totally agree with him cause well I think its amazing... here is the link to the video..

So if you don't know by now I work at Starbucks, and at our meeting today they told us that Starbucks is now proudly apart of the organization ( RED ). If you don't know what RED is it's an organization to help people in Africa get shots and pills to help fight Malaria, Tuberculosis, and AIDS. I am so happy to be apart of such a great thing. Apple, Converse, Dell, MTV, GAP and I can't remember who else are also apart of RED but it's amazing how many lives have been saved because of these companies and now my company/ ME! is also apart of this great organization, just makes me feel so inspired to do so much more.
With that said, I was talking to my sister the other day and it is already November, there is less than 45 days until its 2009. two thousand and nine. Where did 08 go? I have no clue but I plan to make 09 unforgettable! Yes people its true I have a resolution for the new year, no I dont want to lose weight, or quit a bad habit, I want to make 09 the best year of my life. I just don't want to waste another year of my life and then its November 2009 and I have nothing to show for it. So what exactly is my resolution? I plan to make a list in these last days of 2008 and apply my list in 2009. I want my list to have things I've always wanted to do, things I would'nt normally do, and things that I've never done, nothing too crazy like sky diving or anything but reasonable things that I would love to do. I think that I can do it and once I have my list on paper I'll blog and tell you all about it! I guess you can say I'm ready to let it all go , I'm ready to say good-bye to 2008 and HELLO 09! ;]

Live it up people, we only get one chance to do this so why not make the most of it?
Living with the what Ifs and being scared just limit you, why not take a chance everyonce in a while?

Well Kiddos, that's all I got for today !


November 02, 2008

Its been a while

So where to begin?
Reason for no blogs? Starbucks ;] .
That's right people I am once again a Starbucks Barista!
Only dilemma, consumes most of my time, work work work !
Now I am getting back into the rhythm of working again so I'm not as tired as before so hopefully I should have more blogs up. There has been so much that has gone on that I've been wanting to blog about, Ive just been slacking with this blog thing.

So, Life threw me a curve ball, and I threw that shxt out of the park!

I don't quite know how to say how I feel. At that moment it was perfect, nothing else mattered, weird. Its crazy because for a little while I forgot about you, then all of a sudden its four years later and your sitting inches away. I replay the night in my head and I can't think of anything I would do different. For a split second, I gave up hope because you looked right at me and kept walking, and yes my heart is still melted on that pizzeria floor, but I don't regret that day at all. & I don't give up hope because after four years without having talked you still manage to come see me just because I said I wanted to see you, it has to mean something. So for now I'll just take it for what it was, an unforgettable night, Thank you.

You give me serious butterflies.

That's all i got kiddos.