September 15, 2009

I'm safe up high nothing can touch me.

There is just this unexplicable feeling I have. It finally feels like things are falling into place and it couldnt feel better.

Where to begin?

Dear Summer two thousand and nine, where did you go?

I barley saw any water at all. When I did those two, three times it was amazing. My summer mostly consisted of latte making and frappaccino/vivanno madness. However I can't complain on behalf of the fact that I saw more of the "night life" I guess you would say this summer. Also, the best thing that could have happen did in a way.

Let me paint this picture,

Imagine coming home from a 10hour shift, you slam that cab door shut and see your father pacing back and forth on your front porch. You shake your head and smile a little bit cause you figure his usual self is worried about how your getting home from work, and as you get closer your heart starts beating faster and faster because as your walking up these steps you see this trail of blood, then you start rushing up those stairs only to see blood everywhere, just so much blood. You see your father disoriented and your scared, your terrifed. "What's wrong, What happened, papi... pa" scrambling through your purse trying to stay as calm as possible, trying to keep composure trying to find the damn keys, there they are.. run up the stairs, "Ma, why is papi downstairs covered in blood, so drunk he doesnt even know who he is let alone where he is standing". Now shes worried, rush down stairs clean up the blood from the porch , clean his face , go to your sister and cry, so much you cant even catch a breath of air. Not knowing why, not knowing what happened, drunk talk that makes no sense and just being competly and utterly scared. In the end he goes to the hospital has a concussion and a broken nose, he ended up falling. I've never felt so scared in my life. Everything happens for a reason, I was supposed to get out of work at 10pm, I stayed until 2am. My dad gets out of work at midnight, if I wouldn't have stayed at work, what would have happened? Who would have found him? Everybody has this point where they realize that change needs to happens and this was his. Hes been sober 1month and a half and I couldn't be prouder. My father is nothing less of amazing, and now without the alcohol, I can't even express nor put in to words what an amazing person he is& I'm very lucky to have him.

Since hes been sober there has been some major changes. My daddy bought me my Canon Rebel. I feel motivated and inspiried, I feel like I want to make him proud. How? I'm going back to school , and just getting my life in order. So thank you Papi for giving me that push I needed.

Life goes by way to fast, do what you love.
If it makes you happy that's all that matters. Don't let the negative words of others cloud your thoughts nor let it get in the way of your dreams. This is your life, one life, all you get is one make it count ;)

That's all I've got for tonight kiddos ;]