November 21, 2011

Bitch, ima pick the world up and DROP IT ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD.

Todays topic I would like to discuss, relationships.
So last friday I was in my color theory class. The project that was presented to us was to create a "double self-portrait". What's this you ask? Allow me to further explain as best I can. It's a color theory class so you can only use colors, your end result should be abstract. You have to put the colors and shapes together in way that gives your peers just as well as onlookers a feel of who you are. Now to the double part. The piece should be in three parts, the first one is you. Then comes something you have a relationship with. This can be from anything to a plant, your dog or friends or just basically whatever. Then the third part is what happens when the two of you interact or get together, Best example, you a guitar and what happens when you get together. So the four hours of class my professor was trying to get us to see was what is a relationship? When your in a relationship do you expect anything in return?
Half the class said no. this is complete and utter bullshit. Of course you want something in return. Think about it if you put so much time into something your always giving and giving and you get nothing in return at some point you give up and walk away.

That class seriously opened my eyes. It pertained to a situation in my life I'm going through now with my best friend. Well I use that term loosely because now a days I feel like I don't know my friend anymore. I think in order to get to a sense of peace within I need to vent a little and fuck, that's why I have this blog for huh? Well here it goes

The first stage I went through was the usual, there was someone new so I was tossed to shit. This is something I'm familiar with so it didn't phase me that much. I was /am super happy for you, if someone deserves happiness I think it you. You can be such an amazing person but lately I've seen such a shitty side of you and it fucking sucks. I try and put this front like I don't give a shit, but I can't help but be so fucking pissed off, which bring me to my second stage. I get so fucking mad that I feel like I'm loosing my friend. I feel like I spend so much of my time saying how I feel and honestly it doesn't get through to you or maybe you just don't give a shit. At first I would send countless amounts of texts to which I was getting empty replies, eventually I got no responses. Then thinking I was proving a point I said shit I wont send anything then she'll realize, damn I never text her. I got nothing. I mean way to kick someone while their down huh, but I guess this friendship to you isn't worth saving. I had this though in my head that our friendship meant something but by the looks of it, it doesn't mean shit. I feel like I've tried so much to get my point across, to get my feelings heard and no matter how many times I say it nor how many different ways I say it, it just doesn't matter, I don't matter. I'm to the point where I'm writing this for me, I don't care what you have to say anymore. There's just so much a person can take. I honestly can't take being thrown to shit every time someone comes around. It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts that I'm not important enough for me to be in your life anymore. It sucks but there's nothing else that I can do, because it doesn't matter how hard I fucking try, I just don't think your on the same page. I'm to the point where when you finally realize this, I might not be there anymore.


I feel a little better. I think in order to become at peace with yourself you have to face your demons. You have to be able to let go, and well I think I just let go.

Until Next time Kiddos..

November 09, 2011

The Return!


There's really no explanation to why I haven't written in so long, but man has so much happened since February.
Apologies for not keeping up to date, so let's quickly summarize what's up with me.
Well, I am now a full time student! YAY! I honestly didn't think I would be going back to school anytime soon, but while keeping my sister company on her interview for school, I just couldn't help but get that feeling that let me knew it was time to go back. So, I filled out an application and my sister and I now attending The Art Institute of NYC. It's been pretty amazing so far. We've gotten to meet so many new people and the classes that we've been taking are so fucking cool. It's pretty awesome to be surrounded by such creative people, it's a nice change.
So pretty much that's it. That's my life. When we went to orientation they told us because it's a two year school, they try to cram in so much classes in such little time, so your really busting your ass to soak up as much knowledge as you possibly fucking can. The first quarter wasn't that successful because I thought, it'll be cake. Now, almost 4quarters in my time is totally devoted to school. I've gone MIA from the social scene, not that I had much of a "scene" to be in from the beginning, but yeah I realize that you have to make some sacrifices in order to get to where you want to be in the future. The handful of friends think I'm joking when I say if I'm not at work I'm at school or doing homework, I do absolutley nothing else. However I have missed blogging and I've tried to do the journal thing, but it hasn't really worked out, so I think I'll be blogging here once again, and I will try my hardest to keep up with it.

So yeah, I have a mountain of homework that I have to do so I should get to it.

Until Next time kiddos ;]

February 09, 2011

Just a random rant.

There's that little sayings,
misery loves company

I mean, I know for a fact that's true but instead of just sitting in the sidelines and stating the obvious why don't we do something about it?
Hey misery, lets be have some fun, let's get out of this gloomy hole,
let's be happy.
I think we can all put forth more effort to give someone that extra push when their down. We can't give up that easily.

Life, is stressful but in the end you can't let it get the best of you.
Ask yourself, in 5years will this be important?

I think we( yes we as in everyone in this world) takes things to seriously.
I think its a guarantee that when you plan something you expect a certain out come and in the end, reality never matches up to your expectations, so why worry?
Smile more, laugh more.

Well kiddos, I kept it short and sweet and that's all I've got for tonight.

RosaLacosa ;]

January 31, 2011

Welcome to the show.


So, I'm back.
I hope I can keep up with this blog this time.

I just reactivated, and boy oh boy do I have so much to tell you.

May 24, 2010

Things just aren't what they used to be.

Bienvenida a dos mil diez!
I have stopped blogging for a while, and to be honest I don't know why because I really enjoy this.
I must have written a million and one blogs in my crackberry however I got lazy and never posted. I guess this goes with one of those things that I blogged about, which was where the heck does motivation go and why is it so hard to produce and keep productive?

So? What's new with me?
We've moved out of the wretched apartament-o where the landlord live downstairs. If there's one thing that I've learned from that experience is that never ever not even if they rented you the best apartment for one dollar, live near or on top of your landlords, its not worth it one itty bitty bit.
Our apartment now? Nothing special, somewhat old school, however we bother not a soul. Owner lives far far away and NO neighbors. We do have a corrupted bar across the parking lot, but hey you can't have it all!

Work? Same exact shit just on a different day.

Well, I'm back at this like a crack addict , so get ready for more posts :)
until next time kiddos :]